Famous Jewelry Collections: I stopped doing affirmations

The One Question That Changed My Body, My Business, and My Entire Reality

January 14th, 2016. My 40th birthday.

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror in my house in Kuala Lumpur, and the man looking back at me had failed every single health goal he'd ever set. Chubby. Couldn't run a mile without wheezing. My friends called it "dad bod." I called it something a lot less polite.

I had a Mars bar stashed in my desk drawer. Two Starbucks lattes a day, each one loaded with sugar. I had acne at forty. I was soft in places I didn't want to be soft.

That morning, something in me shifted. Not the kind of dramatic lightning-bolt moment you read about in self-help books. More like the quiet click of a lock turning open. Instead of making another resolution, instead of writing another goal in another leather notebook that would end up collecting dust, I asked myself one question.

Not an affirmation. Not a visualisation. One question.

Six months later, my body fat dropped from 22% to 14%. I packed on seven pounds of pure muscle. My chest expanded so much that I had to throw out half my shirts. People I hadn't seen in a while thought I'd had work done on my face.

And here's the part that still gets me: I didn't even fully understand why it was working. I just kept asking the question.

The lie we've all been told about affirmations

Let me ask you something honest.

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and declared: "I am healthy. I am abundant. I am worthy of love," and felt a small, traitorous voice somewhere in your chest whisper back: ...are you though?

That voice is not a weakness. That voice is your subconscious mind, the most sophisticated data-processing system ever created, calling you out. It processes roughly 20 million bits of information per second. Your conscious mind handles about 40. So when you stand there making a declaration your subconscious knows isn't true yet, it doesn't get inspired. It rebels.

Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, one of the most respected mind-science pioneers who ever lived understood this as early as the 1980s. After researching millions of people, he made a stunning pronouncement: affirmations don't work.

His reasoning was simple. If you tell yourself, "I only eat healthy foods," there is a voice in the back of your head that fires up immediately: No, you don't. You ate that pizza last Wednesday. Who are you kidding?

We all have that voice. And if you're reading this, thinking I don't have that voice, that's the voice.

The problem was never your commitment. It was never your willpower. The problem is the format of the tool. Affirmations are declarations. And your subconscious can and will argue with a declaration.

But it cannot argue with a question.

Think about it. If I ask you, "Why is the sky blue?" your brain doesn't fire back with "That's not true." It goes hunting for an answer. That's what brains do with questions. They search. They scan. They won't rest until they find something.

Now imagine weaponizing that instinct.

How I stumbled into this by accident

There's a teacher in the Mindvalley family named Christie Marie Sheldon, a world-class coach and intuition expert.

Back in 2015, I filmed a series of short videos with her at her home in Chicago. We shot so many that day I honestly forgot most of them. We put everything up on the Mindvalley YouTube channel, and I moved on.

Fast forward to that morning. January 14th, 2016. My 40th birthday. Feeling sorry for myself, I was sitting at my desk scrolling through our YouTube analytics, which, by the way, is a terrible way to celebrate a birthday.

I clicked on one of Christie's videos. Five minutes long. Slightly fuzzy camera. And she said something that stopped me cold.

She said: "Have you ever asked yourself 'Why am I always broke?' or 'Why can't I find love?' or 'Why does this always happen to me?' Those questions aren't helping you. They're programming you. Because whatever question you ask, your mind answers. If you ask why your life is hard, it will show you every reason why your life is hard."

Then she said the thing that changed everything: What if you flipped it?

Instead of "Why am I always broke?" - ask: "Why do I have more money than I need?"

Instead of "Why can't I find love?" - ask: "Why am I so magnetic to loving, supportive people?"

Now, I know what you're thinking. That sounds like a positive affirmation dressed up in a question mark.

What's the difference?

Here's the difference.

When you say "I have more money than I need", and your bank account says otherwise your subconscious screams liar. It fights you. It shuts the door.

But when you ask, "Why do I have more money than I need?" your subconscious doesn't argue. It goes quiet. And then it goes to work. It starts scanning your reality for evidence that this could be true. The door doesn't fly open. It opens a crack. Just enough for new possibilities to slip through.

That morning, I wrote down one single question in my journal:

"Why do I have the fit, muscular body of an athlete?"

I had no idea what was about to happen.

The science behind why this works

Deep inside your brainstem is a structure called the Reticular Activating System the RAS.

Think of it as your brain's search engine. Its job is to filter the 20 million bits of information your senses receive every second and decide which of it is relevant to you.

You've experienced this. The moment you decide you want a specific car, say, a white Tesla, you start seeing white Teslas everywhere. They were always there. Your RAS just wasn't flagging them. The moment you said "I want that," it started pointing them out.

In our evolutionary past, this system kept us alive. Hunter-gatherers could spot tiny berries on a tree from fifty meters away because their survival depended on it.

The RAS was calibrated to hunt for food. It's still calibrated to hunt for whatever you tell it to hunt for.

When you ask a Lofty Question like "Why do I have the fit muscular body of an athlete?" you are programming your primitive brain. And it says: Okay, boss wants an answer. Let me start scanning.

It starts by noticing the right people. The right conversations. The right opportunities. Not because the universe rearranged itself but because those things were always there. You just couldn't see them.

In my case: within weeks of asking that question, I started stumbling upon the right teachers and the right systems almost as if they'd been waiting for me to notice them. I discovered new ways of eating. I broke an addiction to sugar that had controlled me for years. My body went from 22% body fat to 14%.

Incredible teachers stepped into my life, Eric Edmeades and his WildFit program, Lorenzo Delano and 10X fitness and their methods just landed for me in a way nothing had before.

(Side note: if you're a Mindvalley member, both of these teachers influenced me so deeply that I signed them; you already have access to 10X fitness as part of your membership, and you can get WildFit here.)

Was the universe conspiring in my favour? Or was my brain simply, for the first time, paying attention to exactly the right signals? I'll let the philosophers fight that one out. All I know is that my body transformed. And it started with a single question.

For those of you who think in more spiritual terms, there's a principle sometimes called the Law of Resonance. The world doesn't give you what you want. It gives you who you are.

When you ask a Lofty Question consistently, you are reshaping the belief at the subconscious level about who you are. And your reality reshapes itself to match.

Both explanations, scientific and spiritual, point to the same truth: the questions you ask yourself every day are shaping your reality. The only question is whether you're asking the right ones.

The L-O-F-T-Y method: how to build questions that actually work

Not all questions are created equal. There's an art to building one that lands.

I've distilled it into five tests.

Run every question you write through all five, and you'll know immediately whether it's powerful or forgettable.

L - Lifting. Does this question elevate your energy when you ask it? Compare these two: "Why do I eat a lot of vegetables?" versus "Why does my body naturally crave exactly what it needs to thrive?" The first one feels like a chore. The second one feels like freedom. I once tried "Why do I have no desire for wine?" and I immediately thought, I like wine. That question made me feel deprived. So I changed it to: "Why does my body know exactly how to stay healthy and vibrant, even when I celebrate?" That one lifted me.

O - Ownership. Does your question require you to show up? Lofty Questions are not a couch-and-manifest strategy. If your question is "Why do I sleep so deeply every night?" are you actually giving yourself the conditions for deep sleep? You don't need to know how. But you do need to be willing to walk in the direction the question points.

F - Future-Focused. Your question is not about where you've been. It's about who you're becoming. My old internal dialogue was: "Why do I love sweet things so much? Why is this so hard?" a question looking backwards at the identity I was trying to escape. The Lofty Question looks forward: "Why do I have the fit, muscular body of an athlete?" I didn't have that body yet. But the question described my direction, not my history.

T - Truthful. Does this question align with your values or someone else's version of who you should be? I see this especially with younger students whose parents want them to become engineers, so they write "Why am I such a brilliant engineer?" when deep down they want to make films or music. Your subconscious can sense inauthenticity. A question built on someone else's dream will never take root.

Y - Yes-Inducing. Ask the question and notice what happens in your body. Does it make you want to say yes? Does it create a forward-moving energy in your chest? "Why am I always surrounded by people who celebrate my success?" If that creates even a tinge of excitement, it passes.

Your starter stack: five questions across five life areas

Lofty Questions only work when they're holistic.

You don't want to be transformed in your health, but living in financial chaos.

Life is a system, and your questions need to cover it.

Here are the five areas I organize mine around, with questions you can borrow, adapt, or use as springboards to write your own.

Health & Energy.
"Why do I have unlimited energy and vitality?"
"Why does my body naturally crave exactly what it needs to thrive?"
"Why am I getting younger and more vibrant every year?"

Love & Relationships. This isn't just romantic love; it's the quality of connection in your entire life.
"Why am I always surrounded by love?"
"Why do I attract loving, supportive, growth-oriented people into my life?"
"Why do I create deep, meaningful connections effortlessly?"

Career & Purpose.
"Why am I so deeply aligned with my soul's purpose?"
"Why do opportunities flow to me so effortlessly?"
"Why do I solve all the challenges in my work in a fun and easy way?"

Abundance & Money. Be careful here. Don't dress scarcity in Lofty Question clothing. "Why do I have enough money to pay my bills?" is still a ceiling question.
Instead,
"Why do I have more money than I need?"
"Why do I have avalanches of abundance raining down on me for all my goals, visions, and desires?"

Personal Growth. This is the category that feeds all the others.
"Why am I always evolving with such ease and joy?"
"Why does the right knowledge, the right teachers, and the right insights always find me exactly when I need them?"

Start with five, one from each area. I currently cycle through about 30. But I didn't start there. I started with five and let them grow as my life, my identity, and my desires evolved.

The practice: three rules

One - Do this in meditation. State each question once.

When your mind is relaxed, what neuroscientists call the alpha brainwave state, your subconscious is dramatically more receptive. This is the same principle behind hypnosis: a hypnotist relaxes you first because that's when suggestion takes root. So do your Lofty Questions during morning meditation, evening wind-down, or during the Six Phase if you practice it. Say each question once with full feeling. You are not repeating it like a mantra. You're planting a seed and releasing it. That non-attachment is what makes it work.

Two - Stay curious. Don't force an answer.

A Lofty Question is an open loop. You plant it, and then you live your life. You stay curious about how it might show up. Not anxious about when. Not obsessed with how. The how is none of your business. The universe often has a shortcut you haven't imagined yet.

Three - Use "why," not "what" or "how."

Why do I have the fit, muscular body of an athlete, and what do I need to do to get one? "What" implies a to-do list. "How" implies the effort you have to figure out. "Why" presupposes it's already true. Your mind's only job is to find out why. That one word makes an enormous difference.

Here's my challenge to you

Starting tomorrow morning, write down five Lofty Questions one for each area. Put them on paper or on your phone. Somewhere you'll see them.

In your first few minutes of quiet, close your eyes, take one deep breath, and read each question once. State it. Feel it in your body. Let it go. Then get up and live your day.

For the next 30 days, keep a simple log. And in that log, write down every tiny piece of evidence that your questions are coming true. If your question is about health and you order the salad instead of the fries write it down. If someone texts you out of nowhere who's connected to an opportunity you've been circling write it down. A small synchronicity on a day you asked about abundance write it down.

I know this sounds almost absurdly simple. But Jose Silva found across decades of research that when you give genuine gratitude for the tiny synchronicities, they scale. Rapidly. The universe interprets your gratitude as a signal: more of this, please.

Here's what I want you to know.

The universe has been waiting. Your entire life it has been waiting for you to ask the right questions.

Most of us spend decades asking the wrong ones. Why am I broke? Why can't I find love? Why is this so hard? And the universe, loyal, patient, literal answers exactly what we ask.

Every question is a prayer. Every prayer shapes your reality. The only thing standing between you and the life you can feel is possible is the quality of the questions you're asking yourself.

So starting tomorrow, ask better ones.

If any of this resonated, I'd love to hear which Lofty Question hit hardest for you. Leave a comment on the blog version of this newsletter. I read every single one.

With love,

Vishen

P.S. This May 15-17, we are hosting Mindvalley’s most anticipated Manifesting Summit, and it has been a paid ticketed experience for the past 2 years. Thousands of people join it, and every year, I've watched lives change in ways that still move me.

This year, for the first time, we're opening it completely free live on Zoom.

We've redesigned the entire three days around a specific sequence: one I wish I'd had back in 2016 when I was asking all the wrong questions.

First, we clear the hidden manifestation blocks you don't even know you’re carrying.
Then, we align the biology because, as you now know, your body has to be in it for any of this to work.
Finally, we get to receiving.

Regan Hillyer is joining me, and we have more world-class teachers to be announced soon. We can’t wait to see you experience this energy field.

Claim your free spot here